Making Peace With Your Behind
When I first met Eileen, she was a quiet, shy college freshmen. It wasn’t long after our first meeting that she approached me to mentor her. That was 15 years ago, and I have loved watching her not only overcome many fears and insecurities but grow into the amazing leader that she is. I asked her to share an excerpt from her new book, The Brave Body Method, not only because I believe in her but because I believe that what she has written has the potential to bring you personal freedom and inspire you to be brave in your story! Donna Pisani xoxo
Photo: Erica Baker Photography http://ericabakerphotography.com
“Could you kindly move your behind please?”
“What was … that?” I exclaimed, spinning around to address the voice. It was then I realized my rear end was in the way, keeping the man from his table. Recognizing the hilarity of the situation, we both erupted in laughter, causing looks of irritation from those grabbing lunch around us.
Having just delivered my third child, I was 60 pounds over my normal weight. In my present state, I was unaware of my new body dimensions. Granted, my bottom was much rounder than normal, but in a strange phenomenon unique to childbearing, it had also grown horizontally.
It was as if a small shelf was now attached to my backside.
Why, the man could have rested his coffee on my behind if he had wanted to!
In that moment, it was as if time stood still. The lyric of the laughter, the aghast look on the gentleman’s face—life played in surreal slow motion as I contemplated:
I hadn’t always been as kind to my body as I was being now.
In fact, we had been vicious enemies for over two decades.
The moment lasted only seconds, but within the sound of the laughter was the echo of my freedom. I recognized something profound in this corner bistro, something that had eluded me throughout my youth:
I had finally made peace with my behind.
When what lies behind you is disappointment with your weight or frustration that you just can’t seem to move forward—it’s easy to let what’s behind you, define you.
As a 20-year-old, I had been so long involved with disordered eating that I began to believe disorder was my future.
I couldn’t imagine a world where I would wake up and not obsess about my body or what I was eating.
I couldn’t imagine living light and free, devoid of the aching insecurity and depression that had become my constant companions.
I desperately wanted to experience a different reality, but I had no idea how.
My big behind was in the way.
It was as if there lay a chasm between who I longed to be—healthy, radiant, secure, confident—and who I saw in the mirror. All I saw was a girl—overweight, unstable, with a side of cray-cray.
I simply could not figure out how to cross this chasm of impossibility, how to find the invisible bridge to my potential that would lead me to become who I wanted to be.
Have you ever felt like it would take a miracle to get you to your destiny?
Indeed, the greatest miracle we may ever experience is to become who we really are. The bravest adventure we may ever embark upon is believing the Promise is greater than the problem.
If you lean in, you just might hear heaven whisper…as I did in the café those years ago:
“Excuse me, could you kindly move your behind, please?”
Eileen along with her husband Harrison are on the pastoral team at Capital City Church. You can find her blogs at eileenwilder.com and can get a copy of her new book, “The Brave Body Method,” free on Amazon for the next 48 hrs! Her ideal day goes something like Starbucks, shopping, and then Starbucks…but most days you’ll find her making up silly songs and chasing her three adorable kids around the house!
““I love meeting women from other churches! It’s great to spend time with encouraging women who want to see you grow.” —Denise
Did you register for BYC15 yet? It won’t be the same without you!